3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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