that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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