Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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