So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just cut my nipple shaving
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
did i walk over a car last night?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
