Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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