I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
