we have officially lost it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
