I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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