so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
