your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
