he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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