it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
