marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
