dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
