The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
All the doctor said was why
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
