Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize