i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
