We're facebook friends in real life
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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