girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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