I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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