I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
