WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
ttyl tear gas
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
