Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
