I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
