You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
