fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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