just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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