oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
