Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
