Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
