This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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