with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize