I have demons in me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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