There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
