Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
