I heard we made out
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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