one might say we're banned from that church
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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