I got chris browned last night
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
