we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
