Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize