hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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