I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
