so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
