there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize