I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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