sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
