I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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