69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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