nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
