he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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