My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
