My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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