tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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