How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
