I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
