the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
