So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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