i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
