The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
