My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
