i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
