I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
