Just cropdusted the office
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
