making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
