i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This is the high leading the old right now
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
