I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize