Umm I'm too high to move.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
