It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
