I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
