You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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