tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He better not be in your backpack
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
