If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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