Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize