Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize