I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
