I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
