You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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